Are you tired of not knowing how to respond when your child is disrespectful? Here are a few ideas for training your little one in respect while treating them with respect.
Transcript of this video:
I’m titling this short video, “Helping Your Kids Save Face.”
What do I mean by save face?
Basically allowing your child to retain respect & avoid humiliation.
Think about the last time that you said something rude & wished you hadn’t ever opened your big mouth? You probably felt like such a jerk & hoped that people around you didn’t notice or would just forget about it. Knowing that you couldn’t crawl in a hole & hide, you most likely wished for an opportunity to make things right.
In my home, when I say something unkind, I love the times when my family is gracious with me. It’s nice when someone says, “I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to come across rudely, but I didn’t like the way you said that.”
Our kids are the same way. They just want us to believe the best in them & if they can’t crawl in a hole & hide, then it’s nice to have an opportunity to re-do the situation.
We do re-dos in our home all the time.
For example, one of our kids will spout off some rude remark. And we’ll counter with, “I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to come across that way. How could you have said that differently?”
This gives them the benefit of the doubt, that maybe they weren’t intending to be as hurtful as they came across.
This also gives them a chance to make things right.
Everyone loves 2nd chances!
And it’s so nice when others are slow to be offended & give us the opportunity to rephrase what we want to say.
Initiating a re-do is a great way to train our kids how to value others & how to communicate effectively.
And it helps us reach our goal of giving our kids as many opportunities as possible to succeed.
Another way of handling this type of situation is to provide an example statement for your kid to copy. For instance, a kid might say, “Give me that piece of paper.”
And my immediate response is, “May I have that piece of paper please?”
When they hear me say it like that, then they know that’s their cue to copy me & resay their statement with a kinder tone.
My husband, Craig, has even done this with me. Sometimes I’m a little irritated by it, but it is a non-aggressive way of communicating to me that I’m being rude. And it gives me a chance to save face without making a big deal of it.
One final, easy way to help your children save face is to try not to correct them in front of others. Sometimes this is unavoidable. But many times, we can approach them privately, after the fact.
We build strong trust with our kids when we avoid embarrassing & shaming them.
So ask yourself right now, “How do I respond when my child gives me attitude or says something in a rude manner?”
“Am I quick to be offended or do I set my emotions aside & take advantage of that teaching moment?”
Remember we all like it when people believe in us & give us a chance to succeed.
Thanks for watching this little video. I hope it helped you ponder something new or something you haven’t thought of in a while. Parenting is tough job & we all need as much help as we can get.
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